Brainwashed Weekend

A class for brainwashing takes a hypno-newbie for an entrancing ride.

Note: Thanks to Lee Allure and The Secret Subject for their wonderful, inspiring classes at Charmed this year, particularly their Brainwashing Experience class that directly inspired this story. And also thanks to the Charmed convention staff and organizers for a great experience.

 

 

Entering the hotel lobby, clusters of interacting attendees crowded together. Some wore costumes, most already had name tags showing their online handles, pretty much all of them wearing smiles showing how elated they were to see one another, like long-time friends drawn together by one special hobby. Carolyn knew what to expect upon entering, but it didn’t make it any less surreal to finally be there. Though she was obviously new and didn’t really know or see anyone there she could gravitate to yet, their happiness was infectious for a newcomer such as herself. She’d been to other cons for other hobbies, but nothing felt as freeing as being able to openly express her forbidden love of something out in the open, not hiding behind a keyboard and dark room, bringing to light the surreal and nerve-shakingly exciting, as she hoped her first in-person hypno experience would be what she dreamed it could, wherever it might come from.

From the crowded elevator, with a crowd she was happily apart of, to the main floor for where the convention activities were happening, that she was to be a part of, it all seemed overwhelming, almost too liberating at first, not in the mindless way she craved. A growing tinge of apprehension was only a garnish to the budding excitement that drew her to the con in the first place. It reminded her of the first time she’d ridden a rollercoaster as a teenager. The long wait in line felt like it went on for years; in that time, she’d seen the ride and fun to be had, amazed at how it looked as a ground-level spectator. She followed the elaborate motions people made with each other, circles, backs and forths, deep dips that made people lose their minds. In that wait, she had plenty of time to step away, to convince herself her interest wasn’t as strong as it seemed just watching, experiencing it from afar, that the risks outweighed the gains. But she knew they didn’t; it was time to step up, to not chicken out, to see where her patience, drive, and fascination would take her. Carolyn wore an uneasy, nervous smile.

***

“Surrender. Become blank and mindless. Blank, mindless, and obedient. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey.”

Carolyn wore a somewhat mindless smile, momentarily losing herself to the spinning black and white spiral. Blinking herself free of it was a reflex of surprise, very much surprised by how quickly she started to slip into the intended effect of the most immediately engaging class she’d ever have the privilege of attending, “Brainwashing Experience,” with several of the other Charmed classes coming in close ties of second place. Happiness wasn’t the only thing shared by then; lethargy was certainly spreading, laid down on the carpet floor amongst others, a recommendation from the helming hypnotists Lee Allure and the Secret Subject, for those who would consider the possibility of falling out of their chairs. Carolyn was surprised to see nearly everyone up front slipping to the floor, but understood why soon enough; all those times she tried trancing in her own room with headphones and her armless office chair, she never had to worry about falling off it while trying to enter a trance state.

“It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More. A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go.”

The words permeated the room slowly, as if taking their time, percolating, settling upon listeners like a calming, balming fog, soon to affect those who chose to sit, and soon to really affect those who chose to lie on the floor. Carolyn, having chosen the latter, breathed deep, and let the scene try to begin to naturally overtake her. The want to feel the intended result on the inside, competed with the usual, annoying thoughts that wouldn’t shut up.

With every passing minute though, she realized how wrong the rollercoaster comparison from her first day was, a stark difference to be front-and-center for a live brainwashing session. Similar anticipation, but the heightened rush she sought was practically inverted; a soft phenomenon, not at all aggressive to her senses, gradually, passively overtaking her at a speed that was in no hurry, that never needed to be. It was a leisurely decline into a journey that seemed endless for all the right reasons. Tension from the beginning vanished like the majority of the energy to move, so lax was every limb and muscle, drained of will because there was no need for that. She marveled at how simple the arranged scene was, just a pair of hypnotists she enjoyed from online, addressing the crowd with their recognizable hypnotic tones, a spiral on a projector nearly as prevalent as their voices, and were it not for their use of microphones, how easy it might’ve been to ignore their compelling words as background noise.

“This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey. It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More. A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become.”

Carolyn remembered her boldness, perhaps desperation, got her to the front of the room, at the brainwashing epicenter, to not let her escape what was to be. It was punctuated by a claim from one of Secret Subject’s earlier classes that day how in the brainwashing class, no matter who you were, that you’d be caught up in it, even if just a little. The wonder if that would be the case disintegrated early into the brainwashing inception, the words beginning to make convincing declarations that were things she had not felt so strongly before, silencing more thoughts than expected. There were many trances prior to, gently delivered online across many videos and recordings before, but not as convincingly as she wanted. The fact that the class’s script seemed repeating became a catalyst for the strong effects to come.

***

“Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become. My obedience is my pleasure. It is my pleasure to be brainwashed. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more I want to make your words my reality.”

Carolyn stretched herself out on the floor as if ready to nap, but her mind was already half-asleep in a way she’d always dreamed about. Internal, fearful excitement produced elated, deep, steady breathing; drowsy, focused feelings teased her senses more and more. Carolyn’s joined the chorus of reactive sounds with her own, all of it barely audible compared to the voices that persuasively claimed her faculties, Carolyn couldn’t confirm if there was any resistance offered for them in the first place. The only direction she could perceive was a circular one, for the looping words and how they stopped errant thoughts but kept her mind spinning.

Somehow her head could still move itself, looking away from the spiral to try to take more of her surroundings in, but still feeling the spiral motion. Her still-active, analytical brain felt set on a gentle cycle, enough to blur thoughts but not keep them from forming, as her blurry sight landed on one of the hypnotists, the Secret Subject, standing tall above everyone, raining and reigning down over everyone with her spoken cadence and lovely accent sounding so exotic to Carolyn’s rural Midwestern upbringing. The look of her was dark and inviting as the sound, like she was in the class she led earlier.

“Drop, Awake, Repeat,” she was surprised she could recall its title, and even recall how another favorite class was conducted amongst the on-going brainwashing. She took as many notes in that class as she could, and it wasn’t easy watching each demonstration make her wish she was in the chair opposite Secret Subject. But the longer she stared at the towering hypnotist, the more she thought, or wished, her eyes would gaze down upon the sprawled, tranced subject right in front of her.

“The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become. My obedience is my pleasure. It is my pleasure to be brainwashed. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more I want to make your words my reality. Surrender. Become blank and mindless. Blank, mindless, and obedient. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing.”

The more she listened, and watched those painted lips verbalize what was happening to her, the more she saw their attention focused on each other, until part of her conscious took her back to Secret Subject’s other class. It was like there was an offer to be part of her demonstration, and every hand raised offering. The odds for once were in Carolyn’s favor as her hand was pointed to, her clothes described to discern her from the rest of the crowd, and suddenly she was sitting across from the beautiful, jubilant hypnotist, ready to show off some nice tricks, and maybe introduce her to her own sleeping mind. She felt accented words flow over her, in her, through her, accepting them all.

“Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey. It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More. A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become.”

Once under enough, Secret Subject slipped Carolyn’s favorite technique of the class into the volunteer’s mind, as the hypnotist gently woke her with a

*Snap*

Half-awake eyes came to see the class enraptured with her, and her teacher smiling brightly at her. She smiled as well, feeling a tingle in her wrist, and then in her hand, compelling the fingers to come together and form a

*Snap*

that took her back down into words flowing into the back of her mind. She floated there dreamily, covered in the warm blanket of deep hypnosis until

*Snap*

her teacher woke her with her own gesture. Another shared smile, another tingle, another compulsion for Carolyn to

*Snap*

herself into mindlessness. It was going wonderfully until Secret Subject

*Snap*

roused Carolyn again to wakefulness. She smiled at her teacher, asking her in broken speech why she wouldn’t let her sleep, making herself sleep with a

*Snap*

Secret Subject giggled, smiling with a hint of wickedness.

“Because…”

*Snap*

“Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure.”

It all sounded different from how she consciously remembered the class explanations, but she didn’t argue with what she heard, pleasure abound in her body as she obeyed the suggestion given within her to

*Snap*

as if Carolyn aided in her own brainwashing, to obey more effectively, to feel more pleasure.

*Snap*

Secret Subject woke her again, pouting lips showing sympathy for how humorously denied Carolyn felt at that moment. Before Carolyn could take herself back, a series of

*Snap* *Snap* *Snap* *Snap*

from Secret Subject near Carolyn’s face ended their snapping game. Eyes closed and head bowed in relief, concentration homed in on the words again.

“This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey. It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More. A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing.”

The next time Carolyn opened her heavy, glassier eyes, she was looking up at a Secret Subject that smiled down at her, attention briefly paid toward her before shifting to see about others. She smiled at that attention, wanting to take more stock of her surroundings, seeing others snuggled into backpacks, covers or each other, some eyes rolling into their sockets, collective sighs making background noise for the entire room. It was in those sounds that Carolyn suddenly isolated a single voice, louder than her mentally quiet one, the most familiar out of anyone at that con, Lee Allure’s voice.

“Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become. My obedience is my pleasure. It is my pleasure to be brainwashed. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more I want to make your words my reality.”

It was hard to remember after several years the first hypnotist voice or personality she found online to intrigue her, but she knew Lee was the one that made the biggest first impression. Something about the quality of her voice, her technique, what she distilled into a recording or video, made her stand out, and made her a favorite to follow for whatever Lee put out, from hypnotic content to blogs about hypnotic experiences at cons like Charmed. It all fascinated the woman not five feet away from Lee, and never did the woman think she’d be this close, staring straight up at her as if starstruck at the other hypnotist presenter. But there Lee was, speaking in that signature hypnotic tone, and there was Carolyn, a willing victim of her voice, grounded yet still sinking, hoping to be looked down at, brain crystallizing a memory of another class into clarity the longer she stared up at Lee Allure.

“Negotiating while Fractionated” was an important class on Carolyn’s itinerary, ever worried how if she did get that deep, how would she to be able to consciously negotiate and explain her comfort level when under. What she got out of it to start was a display of a simple clicker affecting Lee’s co-presenter with every button push. The fascination got to her, becoming another instance where she wished she was on display.

“The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more I want to make your words my reality. Surrender. Become blank and mindless. Blank, mindless, and obedient. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure.”

The more the words were repeated, the sooner Carolyn found herself seated across from Lee, smiling. From wondering if she’d ever try to schedule a Skype session with Lee, to sitting in-person with with her, chosen for another demo by another community celebrity. Only in her wildest dreams could lightning strike twice, especially knowing the chord Lee struck within her. And the look in Lee’s eyes revealed the hypnotist somehow knew of that chord as well. Strumming that chord in Carolyn like an instrument came as easy as

*Click**Click*

Whether or not it happened in the class like that, the dual sound effect resonated with Carolyn a great deal. Slipping a little until she was awoken by Lee. She was asked how she felt.

*Click**Click*

Pangs of pleasure rang from somewhere inside as Lee demonstrated the effect an innocuous object had on a well-programmed subject. Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

Butterflies in her stomach from slight stage fright ascended up into her body, each small gust of wind from a winged flap was pleasure. Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

Carolyn watched Lee’s smile grow and grow behind glazed eyes, and then blinking eyes as Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

Carolyn’s head leaned back a little every time, until Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

Carolyn felt the butterflies reach her brain, until Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

Carolyn nearly moaned at all the wing flapping creating stronger gusts of wind, made stronger every time the device was used. Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

Sensations traveling down into every limb, every extension, every finger, every toe. Lee woke her again.

*Click**Click*

In the back of Carolyn’s mind, brainwashing words continued on.

“Brainwashing leads to pleasure. This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey. It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More.”

She heard Lee speaking almost in two voices, the background speaking the mantra, the foreground spoke of trance concerns she had, and offered solutions that seemed to frame what could make Carolyn her “best self.”

Lots of communication, extreme feelings creating lack of forethought, the brain going toward what is easy rather than best under stress, safety nets and decision-making reinforced with lots of framework, discussion, and knowledge of involved parties, talking about experiences, suggestions, what is desired and what isn’t, and lots more communication; these aspects were some of the most important talking points of the weekend, and notes Carolyn wanted to adhere to. She let herself adhere to them as the session continued, a mix of words, thoughts and imaginings culminating into something positive for Carolyn’s brain.

***

“Surrender. Become blank and mindless. Blank, mindless, and obedient. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure.”

The air of mesmerism became thick, palpable, attention magnetized sometimes to a singularity, sometimes to the breadth of the large room. It was everything Carolyn imagined it would be, and more. Soon the words that repeated like a stream of consciousness slipped into her foreground, narrating scenes in her mind that seemed in the background. It was almost out-of-body, seeing herself at the con from the comfort of a movie theater, the experiences yet to be had clear enough on-screen. She wasn’t the only theater occupant though; the pair of voices sitting to her left and her right never deviated from the effective mantra, helping to narrate every action screen Carolyn took.

“This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey. It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes.”

“A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become. My obedience is my pleasure.”

Carolyn saw herself walking around the busy Saturday night conference hall with a friend she’d made, the surrounding trances less a sharp, shocking contrast to common public social spaces, and more a lovely blur of seeing what she loved, able to appreciate and enjoy it more, forgetting whatever there was to fear. Her companion commented on how she seemed much more at ease, fading every so often within earshot of a trance going on, feeling the residual effects of that brainwashing class she raved about after the fact.

She wanted to explain how she’d gotten sage advice from a wise pair of women, how Lee explained that Carolyn should be her best self, and Secret Subject convinced her that her mind is happiest when clean. On-and-off screen versions smiled at the thought, the stereo mantra continuing on.

“Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More. A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing.”

“It is my pleasure to be brainwashed. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go.”

It became easy and fun to ask her friend and a few others she was interested in for trance, communicating as much as needed before each one to make sure each knew what they wanted, what she wanted something pointedly at the forefront of Carolyn’s mind besides having fun. How at ease she looked on the outside and vivacious she felt on the inside, emitting an attracting vibe to others, including those who thought trancing with her might be fun. One worry she had that weekend was if she would be able to turn down an opportunity to trance, even if from someone she was unsure of.

“Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become. My obedience is my pleasure. It is my pleasure to be brainwashed. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure.”

“The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more I want to make your words my reality. Surrender. Become blank and mindless. Blank, mindless, and obedient. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey.”

Screen Carolyn’s memories right after the “Brainwashing Experience” class showed talking to Lee and Secret Subject, thanking them, expressing more than she expected about how it opened her up. Her worry was included in that expression, and both hypnotists made it a point to punctuate to her that safety is just as important as having fun. In Carolyn’s head, their natural speaking voices weren’t so far removed from their trancing ones, suggestions of concern taken to heart and mind, feeling more secure and confident about wanting to protect herself. Off-screen Carolyn watched raptly at a few propositions, asking her to be a subject for some wanting to try hypnotizing. One was a switch that gave off a vibe she wasn’t sure of, another seemed sincere enough, almost to the point where she would said yes simply from not wanting the guy to feel bad.

But she remembered the sage advice, and could feel the assurance in one ear from Lee about the pleasure to come from obedience, interpreted helpfully by Secret Subject in her other ear emphasizing “best self” again; “best self” meant trusting herself, keeping herself safe, above the need to please others and make them happy like she believed a submissive should. Calmly, politely, propositions were declined, their offer felt less like rejecting them and more self-protection, the most she could’ve hoped for. One accepted her decline right away, thanking her for her consideration. The other nearly guilted her, trying to get their way; she found herself stronger and undeterred on-screen, proud of the self she viewed, knowing her hypnotists were proud of her too.

Carolyn smiled her brightest smile she’d had all of the convention in her theater seat, leaning back to take in even more of a mindless feeling, a void beyond the screen, on the precipice of the trance, the fabled oblivion she’d dreamed about since discovering hypnosis. No more analysis, no more need for hesitation. The presences next to her followed, their mesmerizing, blended voices in charmed ears never ceasing, just the way Carolyn wanted it.

“Surrender. Become blank and mindless. Blank, mindless, and obedient. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. This weekend, I am my best self. I am a happy toy. Happy toys obey. It is my pleasure to obey. It’s easier when you think for me. I am blank and mindless. Yes. My mind is open and I am so happy. When I say it, I become it. Yes. I am mindless, blank, and obedient. More. A clean mind is a happy mind. Surrender to the brainwashing. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more blank and mindless I become. My obedience is my pleasure. It is my pleasure to be brainwashed. Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure. The more I repeat these words, the deeper I go. The deeper I go, the more I want to make your words my reality.”

***

Fluttering eyelids spent a while trying to open fully, a shrunken consciousness somewhat aware of a request to come back. It was strange; Carolyn’s senses fought harder to stay asleep than being woken up from warm covers on a cold, winter day, but the compulsion to come back from sleep was even more persuasive. It’s as if the covers, or the warm voices covering her, followed her up from trance, pulling her out of bed. She became aware of how sprawled out her body was on the floor, each passing moment she could feel another body part, flexing her toes, popping a few joints, yawning, feeling the tiniest bit of drool around the corners of her mouth. She wiped it away and looked up at Lee and Secret Subject who were in the middle of receiving ovation from everyone, standing, sitting, or still floored.

She was closer to them than anyone, and yet she found there was a cluster of people who’d already beaten her to wanting to talk and thank the hypnotic duo for their amazing work. She almost kicked herself for being so sleepy and beaten out of first in-line, but instead she stretched out like a cat after having the perfect catnap, achieving a great milestone that was the main reason she attended this con in the first place. She’d finally done it, she’d finally reached what was without question a trance state. She wanted to yell in elation a “finally!” knowing from there, she had no place to go but…her mind stopped as she smiled at the thought of going down, down, and down some more.

Soon she was on her feet, waiting to rave to the class presenters what they’d done for her, and how grateful she was. She thought about asking them for a trance sooner or later, if not at the con, since popular hypnotists could easily get bombarded with such requests, maybe some time online. But no matter the excitement, she knew she still need to put her best foot, her “best self” forward. Lots of communication and negotiation to be had before any trancing, to garner understanding and trust with whomever she allowed into her mind, because it was there that she was reminded of how precious it was, and how when the time and circumstances were right, she could move on to brainwashing. Because “Pleasure leads to obedience. Obedience leads to brainwashing. Brainwashing leads to pleasure.”

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